Please, allow me to rant.
Most people who know me, know that I
love talking about my adoption. It makes me happy. I'm excited and nervous and scared and excited and.... all of the things one might expect from anyone becoming a new parent. Conversations about my adoption will, many times lead to a wider conversation about adoption (in general.) I love having these conversations too. There is so much I have learned in the past year. So many things to consider. Such a broad world that I never gave much thought to before. Lets just say, to put it simply, my eyes have been opened. So, I have these conversations with people, and they might just be broad and general and quick. Sometimes they get a little deeper. It doesn't matter to me, I just like to talk about it.
But then,
it happens. Not every time, but so many times. This person that I am speaking with, who is sharing in my joy for adoption and telling me how cool it is that we are doing this will get a little glint in their eye and, almost in the same breath, say to me, "(
insert snide comment about Brad & Angelina and/or Madonna here.)" And they give me that look, you know, the one that says, "Right, my sister? Can I get a high-five?"
I'm sorry, what?
Ok, I know. We tear down celebrity in this society. Its just something we do. Is it because they are richer than us? Better looking? Is it simply because they are famous? All of the above, I'm sure. And frankly, I don't care. What I do care about, is how somebody can see this:
or this:
or this:
and not see simply what I see, which is parents loving their children. Instead they think; those assholes, who do they think they are? just trying to make themselves look good, that's all they're doing, they don't care about those children, its all for show, etc, etc...
Really? All for show? You really think that people adopt children for show? How interesting. I guess because they are famous, there is no way they could possibly have enough heart to love the children they have taken into their lives. Clearly it would be better for those children to have remained where they came from. In their orphanages. Where they would have the benefit and the privilege of living like this:
Well, at least until they are of adult age, upon which time they will be kicked out into the real world, where their emotional scars and lack of supportive upbringing will surly bring them a lifetime of lovely rewards, and then finally, may they find some peace when they die at the ripe old age of 45. If they're lucky. Yeah, that does sound better than having Madonna as a mom.
Ok listen, I don't lie awake at night worrying about how Madonna/Brad/Angie feel. I'm sure they're fine. What I worry about, and what this rambling is really all about, is how people view adoption. And I find it interesting that the strongest and loudest of opinions come from people who have never, and will never, consider adoption for themselves. And I say to you, honestly, I wish they would keep their uneducated, narrow minded opinions to themselves because they just don't know what the hell they're talking about. They don't think about how many orphans there are in the world. They don't think about the conditions these orphans live in. And they don't think about the children growing up in the foster care system in this country. But for some reason, they feel secure as they sit in judgment of those who do think about these things.
Do they really think that someone who does not care about and love children would go through the adoption process for show? And let me assure you, it is a process. My husband and I have been fingerprinted 3 times for various background checks. We have submitted 2 medicals forms for which we were assessed and tested for every possible communicable disease. We have been studied and grilled by 2 social workers, wherein we were asked questions about parenting that I guarantee you no parent who has given birth naturally has had to consider. Our home has been scrutinized. I have drawn a floor plan and written out our fire drill routine. We have filled out more paperwork than I ever could have imagined. Before our adoption is complete, a governing organization in Ethiopia will pour over every document and detail of our lives and issue an opinion of whether we are fit to parent a child of Ethiopia. And after that, a judge will make a final decision. Adoption is not easy. And you know what, its also not the answer to the orphan crisis. That is a whole other can of worms. But I know this. For every child adopted, that is one less child living in conditions we wouldn't wish upon our animals. For every child adopted, that is one more child loved, hugged, kissed, sung to at night, held when the bad dreams come, tickled, played with, educated and fed.
I'm not saying everyone should adopt. I'm not naive enough to think that this is a reasonable option for every family. And I'm certainly not disparaging having your family the old fashioned way. I think pregnancy and child-birth are beautiful, and there will always be a piece of me that hurts because I can't do this. What I am saying is this:
I have a problem with people who think celebrities shouldn't adopt.
And I have a problem with people that think gays shouldn't adopt.
And I have a problem with people who think singles shouldn't adopt.
And I have a problem with people who think you shouldn't adopt outside your race or ethnicity.
And I have a problem with 'people who don't adopt' that have judgmental opinions of 'people who do adopt.'
Why? Because adoption saves lives. No matter
who is doing the adopting. And tell me exactly how it is that you could be against that?
Ok, thank you for reading and, of course agreeing with everything I have said :-)
Stepping off the soap box now. Please feel free to take a turn.
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