alright alright already....

Apparently I haven't blogged in a while. So says most of the free world. Or at least the .00000000000000000001% that read my blog :-) Ok, I get it! But most of the time its like, what should I blog about? Well, what have I been doing? Lets see, I went to work today. And I went to work yesterday. And I'll be going to work tomorrow.... Do you sense a pattern here? I'm boring folks! Really boring.
So let's talk about other people's lives, shall we? I don't know if you've been keeping up with the list (what? you don't look at it 500 times a day? oh that's just me?) It's very exciting because the referrals have been rolling and a lot of families have been getting through court, including one family (this family) who received their referral for their beautiful twins over a year ago and just finally got through court on Tuesday.
You spend a lot of time when you are on the waitlist studying and analyzing. You study how many families are listed before you and you analyze how long it is taking for the people at the top of the list to get their referrals. You wonder why it is taking so long and you hope and pray it doesn't get to be a longer wait by the time you get up there. I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Here's the thing. I have to catch myself when I start thinking like this and remind myself that Ethiopia is not a factory assembly line. Nor is my adoption agency. This is where adoption gets tricky. In order for Matt and I to have the family we always wanted, a mother has to make a torturous decision. Or maybe its not a decision at all, maybe she has died. Maybe other families have to make a torturous decision. Any which way you slice it, its heartbreaking. It's not something you would hope for anyone. Period. It's weird sometimes. I know that people feel sorry for me and Matt. They feel sorry because we couldn't get pregnant. And I appreciate their feelings, I really do, but I really just want to scream, don't feel sorry for us! What we have been through is nothing, nothing, compared to what parents who must give their children up have gone through. Whether it is in Ethiopia, or here in America, or anywhere in the world, no person should have to endure that. Ok, rambling... what's my point. My point is, if it takes 8 months to get a referral, or 12 months, or more, its ok, because we are not on a waitlist for a finely crafted Italian handbag. We are waitng for a person. A real live person, who was loved by someone else, or many other people, but could not stay with them. That's big.

Oy, how'd I get off on such a serious tangent? Ok, I know what you've really been waiting for...

Kitty pictures!!

Here's where I fell asleep on the couch and the cats took over.

And here's where I woke up and realized my husband was taking embarrassing pictures of me and tried in vain to hide my double chin.

And here's where Matt and Bishop were posing in their ties.

Yes. Neck ties.

And here's where they were reading Black's Law Dictionary in their ties.

I would like it noted for the record that it was not me who bought a neck tie for my cat and made him wear it and pose for pictures in it. It was Matt. My husband. Future great dad. I'm just saying.

obsession

So what's to do when you've been on the waitlist for two months? You're done with all the paperwork, but its way too early to start babyfying your home, cuz then you'll just sit and stare at all this baby stuff with no baby in it. Well I'll tell you what ya do. You obsess. Over the List. You read every last blog on the list. You feel like you know these people even though you've never met them. Hell, you even meet one of them (hi R, had a great time with you!)
So this is what I do with my time. I can't get enough of it. It's replaced my facebook obsession. I celebrate when someone gets a referral or learns of a court date or passes court. And my heart breaks when I read the blogs of families who have received their referrals over a year ago and are still waiting to pass court. And I'm a little nervous right now. Because let me just tell you that no less than 16 Gladney families have court dates between May 20 and May 25. I'm getting heart palpitations just thinking about it. I want this to go well. I need this to go well. Because they're my peeps, even though we don't know each other. And our personal experiences may be vastly different, but we're all on the same ride. So my adoption experience is colored by each and every one of them.

Anyway, if you need me, this is where you'll find me. In front of my computer, reveling in my new obsession.

yay spring and good times in the northwest

Not a whole lot going on here these days (aside from working a lot.) We had a great trip to the Seattle area visiting with Matt's family and especially our little cousin Connor, who is 4 years old now, and we haven't seen him since he was just a little baby! Here are a few pics...

Connor!

Check out that hair

Matt and Connor looking suave at the Portland Zoo

Fun at the Mariners Game

Awesome family dinner

And finally... it seems to be spring here. So exciting! This is my favorite moment of the year, when brand new green starts emerging from those brown branches.

hello from waitsville

Wow, three weeks on the waitlist already. I know its just the beginning and we have a long way to go, but I'm feeling very at peace with "the wait" right now. I think it is because this is the first time in this process that I feel very sure that we are actually going to have a baby. There were times during the paperchase when I would get very frustrated and think that it was too hard and it was just never going to happen. Actually, now that I think about it, we've been trying to have a baby since 2006. Three years of struggling. It takes its toll on you. So to be able to relax into the idea that the thing you always wanted is coming, its a very peaceful feeling.

I think there are some new readers now. For those not in the adoption world, let me explain. There's this thing called the FBI list. No, not *that* FBI. It doesn't involve fingerprints. It stands for "Forensic Blogging Initiative." Its a list, put together by a woman named Grace who adopted from Ethiopia last year. Her description of the list: "This is a little something I do in my spare time to track the progress of Gladney Ethiopia families, from the paperchase stage to their forever families." So I wrote to her and asked to be placed on the list. You can check the list out here
Anyway, to all of the new visitors, welcome! Thank you for sharing in our story. I have probably read your blog (if you have one) and anxiously await your good news just as much as mine :-)

As many of you know, I am from New Orleans. I write this because I am missing home somethin awful right about now. Don't get me wrong, things are getting better here in Chicago. The days are somewhat warmer. It doesn't snow (nearly as much ;-) But New Orleans in the spring, man, you cannot beat it. Its festival season. And crawfish season. Its all-around heaven. We usually get down there this time of year, but in order to save money for Baby McBride, the vacation budget has been slashed. Which is ok, I mean, it is totally worth it. You have to have priorities. But man, do I miss Nola in the springtime.

Bringing things down a little bit, there have been two recent passings that have affected me in one way or another. The first was a woman I did not know. Her name was Haregewoin Teferra. A book was written about this extraordinary woman's life by Melissa Fay Greene called "There is No Me Without You."


Most of us in the Ethiopia adoption world have read, or are reading, this book. In short, this woman took in hundreds of orphans in Ethiopia when no one else could or would. She gave all of herself to these children. She died on March 17 of unknown causes. Her story is greatly worth knowing about.

The second was a man I did know. This man.


His name was John Edw. Blankenchip. He was the heart and soul of the USC School of Theatre. He was crass and rude and irreverent. He somehow managed to cut you down, cuss you out, make you laugh, and empower you, all at the same time. And he cared more about his students than any teacher I have ever met. He made my experience at the USC School of Theatre worth it. He died on April 1 (april fools day, of course.) He was loved and will be missed by many. Including me.

Ok, enough with the sad stuff. Matt and I are very much looking forward to a trip to Seattle next week to see his family. I know I said our vacation budget had been slashed, but we made an exception, as this was supposed to be our Christmas vacation that never did happen. Hopefully we won't get snowed in this time. I probably just jinxed us. It will be nice to get away from work for a few days to recharge the batteries.

So until next time...
Happy spring yall!

does this make me a bad mom?

Bishop's dream came true yesterday when I accidentally spilled a whole jar of catnip on the floor. I think it was the best day of his life. I did eventually sweep it up, but I had to let him roll around in it and eat as much as possible because he was so happy. And high.
Also, I was laughing way too hard to pick him up.

It's such a perfect day...

finally! (the post i promised :-)

I got a little side tracked this week. Worked 6 days in a row and it kinda turned me into a zombie. Not the brain-eating kind. Just the don't-know-which-way-is-up-can't-work-up-the-energy-to-blog kind. But I'm better now.

So, yes, it finally happened! I had been somewhat impatiently waiting for about a week to hear word that we had been placed on the waitlist. Kate had sent our final documents (the budget worksheet and the CIS approval letter) off to be authenticated and it seemed like they were taking forever to get back to her. Our agency, Gladney, will place you on their waitlist once your entire dossier has been authenticated on the state level and then sent off to DC for final authentication. Every day I would check my email and phone messages, hoping to hear something. And then on Wednesday, I was at work, between massages, and checked my email (thank god for iPhones.) And there they were, two beautiful emails from Kate and Jessica. I was so excited I did a jig. Luckily I was in my massage room where no one can see me. Of course, then I did another jig in the office in front of about 3 people when I told Kirsten the news. I then texted Matt with a message that said "dude, we're on the waitlist!" He texted me back with, "sweet, dude!" I know, we're so eloquent.

So what does this mean? How Long? What do we do now? Well, quite frankly, we go about our business. Because nothing is going to happen for a while. Gladney is saying right now that the average wait for a referral is 6.5 months. But there a few families who have been waiting for 8 months. And by the time we get to the 6 or 8 month mark, who knows how long the waiting times will have increased to. And remember, folks, this is just for the referral. Add another 4-6 months (or more) on top of that to pass court and be allotted travel dates.

So what the heck do we talk about now? Well, we can talk about how our cat, Bishop has been diagnosed with asthma and now has to be given steroids to help breath right and not sound like he has a smoker's cough. Or we can talk about how Matt bought Shamwows. Apparently they won't make you say "Wow" every time. We can also talk about Ethiopia. It's a fascinating country with a rich culture and history and we want our child to know as much as possible about where he/she came from.

So, as you can see, my blogs might be a bit random now. It's so weird, after all this time always feeling like we needed to be doing something, to not have anything to to do but wait. But that's all we can do! So cheers to the wait and hears hoping its as short as possible.

finally!

I will write more about this tomorrow, but I just wanted everybody to know that we have officially been placed on the waitlist!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!